What is the best response to passive-aggressive behavior?
Stay focused in the present and avoid acting defensively. Be assertive and express your thoughts in a direct and thoughtful way. Accept that you may not change their passive-aggressive ways, but you don't have to simply put up with their behavior.
For example, someone who engages in passive-aggressive behavior might appear to agree — perhaps even enthusiastically — with another person's request. Rather than complying with the request, however, he or she might express anger or resentment by failing to follow through or missing deadlines.
- “I'm confused/curious/sorry…”
- “I was only joking.”
- “No offense, but…”
- “I'm fine.”
- “I'm on it.”
- “I wish you would…”
- “Why don't you…?”
- Pay attention to passive-aggressive behavior. ...
- Call out the specific behavior. ...
- Stay present. ...
- Be open and inclusive to communication. ...
- Recognize your own passive-aggression. ...
- Remove yourself from the situation the best you can.
Passive aggression often stems from underlying anger, sadness, or insecurity, of which the person may or may not be consciously aware. Passive-aggressive behavior may be an expression of those emotions or an attempt to gain control in a relationship. Bearing that in mind can inform how you respond.
Passive-aggressive behavior is when you express negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them.
Passive–aggressive personality disorder, also called negativistic personality disorder, is characterized by procrastination, covert obstructionism, inefficiency and stubbornness. The DSM-5 no longer uses this phrase or label, and it is not one of the ten listed specific personality disorders.
Passive-aggressive people often go to great lengths to retaliate against individuals they believe have taken advantage of them. Their plots for revenge are often indirect—an anonymous angry email or a nasty rumor spread through the office are just a couple of the approaches they may take.
Dealing With Passive Aggression
It typically doesn't help to tell them. On some level, they already know what they are doing, and may escalate their bad behavior to get back at you if you bring it up. The most effective approach is to ignore the behavior and pretend you don't notice it.
Confrontation
Assertive, not aggressive, confrontation is the best way to frustrate the goals of a passive-aggressive person. You see, passive-aggressive people hate confrontation. It's not their style.
What is a passive-aggressive apology?
Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. This is a passive-aggressive apology done to silence the other person and move onto a different topic. It minimizes what the other person has experienced. Im sorry but But is a qualifier. If a person cannot say sorry without adding a but, then they are not sorry.
Constant displays of passive-aggressive behavior may be a sign of conditions like depression or related to symptoms like PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

Passive-aggression is a manipulative form of aggression that is not direct and is easily denied. It's an indirect way of dealing with anger that often leads to a lot of trouble in your partnership.
Guilt and shame are one of the most common reasons that passive-aggressive people lean into behaviors like diminished eye contact. Whether they feel guilty about what they want to say — but can't — or, they're just feeling guilty about what they have done to you…
3. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way.
Examples of phrases that a passive-aggressive communicator would use include: “That's fine with me, but don't be surprised if someone else gets mad.” “Sure, we can do things your way” (then mutters to self that “your way” is stupid).
Passive-aggressive personality disorder (PAPD) causes people to express negative feelings and emotions subtly or passively rather than directly. This often creates a contradiction between what they say and do.
In some cases, the person who is passive-aggressive may not even realize that they are angry or feeling resentful because their feelings have been repressed or they have poor self-awareness. 2 This can lead them to complain about being misunderstood or victimized.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), PAPD is “a personality disorder of long standing in which ambivalence toward the self and others” is expressed by passive expressions of underlying negativism. This means that PAPD is a chronic, generally inflexible, condition.
- Understand why people act passive aggressively. ...
- Don't feed into it. ...
- Model assertiveness. ...
- Enforce consequences if the behavior doesn't stop. ...
- Take care of yourself.
Why passive aggression is toxic?
Because this kind of behavior is covert, you may not be able to put your finger on what's bothering you about an interaction. This is one reason it's so harmful. Someone who openly disagrees with you is easier to deal with than one who rolls her eyes when you present an idea in a meeting.
Silent treatment fails to satisfy these longings and also reflects withholding and emotional abandonment. It is a cutting form of passive aggression. Additionally, engaging in silent treatment as an adult has been found to be associated with experiencing parental silent treatment (Rittenour, et. al., 2019).
People with covert narcissism often use several tactics to gain control over others in a relationship. This includes gaslighting, manipulation, passive-aggressive behavior, and intimidation.
- Behaviour. ...
- Address: PO Box 6053, Buranda 4102. ...
- • Try to understand the other person's point of view – be empathic and. ...
- frustration, or social isolation so try to figure out what is triggering anger. ...
- Stay Calm. ...
- • Don't argue or try to reason with someone who is yelling or angry. ...
- • Don't feel like you have to solve every.
People who behave passive-aggressively do not want others to notice or respond to their aggression, but they still want to communicate their emotions.
Someone who is passive-aggressive often lets others take control while someone who is aggressive is more confrontational or directly forceful. So, someone who is passive-aggressive exerts their control over situations in a less direct or recognizable way.
- Be self-aware. Try to avoid any physical contact unless absolutely necessary as this may cause provocation. ...
- Remain objective. ...
- Non-verbal communication. ...
- Active listening. ...
- Provide solutions.
Behaviors often seen during aggressive communication include: putting others down, overpowering others, not showing appreciation, rushing others unnecessarily, ignoring others, not considering other's feelings, intimidating others, and speaking in a condescending manner.
Aggression can be verbal or physical. There are four types of aggressive behavior: accidental, expressive, instrumental, and hostile.