How can you tell if a coworker is toxic?
- They are not cooperative.
- They rarely tell the truth. ...
- They are not accountable. ...
- They complain about everything.
- They play a victim.
- They put down, bully, or offend other coworkers.
- They always procrastinate at work.
- They use triangulation to draw others into their conflict relationships.
- Learn About Them. ...
- Understand What is Going on With Them. ...
- Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms. ...
- Avoid Engaging with Them Unnecessarily. ...
- Try Talking It Out. ...
- Talk to Your Superiors About It.
- There are no boundaries around work. ...
- People don't trust each other. ...
- There's no room to make mistakes. ...
- People treat each other with contempt. ...
- The interpersonal relationships aren't healthy. ...
- There is no support for employee growth. ...
- People frequently feel gaslighted.
- Don't get sucked into the drama. Another person's toxicity is not about you – it's about them. ...
- Lean into the crazy. ...
- Establish clear boundaries. ...
- If all else fails, escalate the issue – but go in with a case.
Describe the situation, in detail, explaining what the problem is, and why. Make sure you have evidence to back this up. Then offer a solution - what you want them to do, and then the consequences: what will happen if they do - and don't do - as you ask."
- Your gut says so. It could just be in your head, but it could also be true. ...
- They take credit for your work. ...
- They won't maintain eye contact. ...
- They never smile near you. ...
- They're snippy. ...
- They exclude you. ...
- They avoid you. ...
- They spread rumors.
If the person engages with you, be polite but aim to extricate yourself as soon as you can. Listen to complaints briefly – say a minute or two. And then say, “I'm so sorry, but I need to get (something) done.” Or, “I'm sorry; I'm late to a meeting.” (Never lie; if you have no meeting, go with the “get something done.”)
- Know It's Not About You. One way to ease the tension of having to deal with a patronizing coworker is to understand that it's not personal. ...
- Evaluate Their Comments For Helpful Feedback. ...
- Ask For Further Explanation. ...
- Address Their Behavior With Them.
The most direct way to handle a rude coworker is to try to have a private, polite conversation about the incident in question. Calmly express your concerns about the rudeness you observed and explain how it negatively affects you, being conscious not to be accusatory or overly critical.
- Superficial charm and false sympathy.
- Negotiations that don't feel fair, with no win-win solutions.
- Verbal intimidation or insincere praise.
- Meetings where you unexpectedly leave loaded down with work – with an unfair number of monkeys on your back.
How do you tell if a coworker is intimidated by you?
- Lack of eye contact.
- Body is slightly turned away.
- Crossing of the arms.
- Stiff or rigid body.
- Other employees avoid you in common spaces.
- Coworkers end conversations abruptly.
- They don't share their own ideas.
- They will tell you that you intimidate them.
They're openly resentful of you — or worse, talk about you behind your back. If you can cut the tension with a knife every time you join meeting or conversation, there's a good chance your colleagues are jealous. Even worse, you might hear from others that the same people are talking about you behind your back.
- You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do.
- You're constantly confused by the person's behavior.
- You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.
- You always have to defend yourself to this person.
- You never feel fully comfortable around them.